No my autistic son is not a burden,
But that does not mean he is OK either.
I recently read an article that touted how a person’s autistic children were not a burden, and how people who talked about the downsides of their children’s autism were not doing their children any favours. It also talked about accepting autistic children as they are, and helping the world accommodate them.
There is a missing side to this argument though and it has been a common one for a very long time. There are many different sides to autism, and while some kids who are termed autistic can function fairly close to normal, and have some minor difficulties, can grow up to be married have kids and with some accommodation’s lead a fairly stereotypical life. The problem is that these are not the only groups of autistic children. There is another group of autistic children who will never speak, or at best have limited speech. They will never be able to live on their own, many of them will need full time monitoring. A job may be possible under limited circumstances, but it will require one person to monitor while the autistic person works etc.
See not all versions of autism are quiet, sweet, and hunky dory.
I actually love my son, and while he is not the easiest to deal with all the time, I would not trade him for the world.
I am also not going to sugar coat it. My son is one of those who will never live on their own. His chances of getting married are very low. Kids unlikely etc. This is not a sympathy trip. This is not to get attention. This is my son’s reality and painting sweet pictures will not change that reality.
The hugest problem is that the people who slam those of us trying to help our kids achieve the best possible outcome, are doing nothing but harm. What may be best for your child, is not likely what is best for my child. And, while perhaps you are autistic, and can express yourself, it does not mean what you feel and what my son feels is the same. It also does not mean that what is best for you is best for my son. In fact it is actually possible that what is best for you might actually be the worst possible option for my son.
I don’t want sympathy, I don’t want money (though money is definitely cool lol), what I really want is for people to stop hindering my son by pretending that because they are perfect so is he. He will never be cured, but whatever we can do to make life just a little easier for him, is our responsibility at parents. It is everyone’s responsibility to do what is in the best interest of their child.
I have a son with severe autism and life can be difficult at times but he is not a burden to me either. I hook him up to a feeding machine all day and he has sensory issues to sound so watching TV, Vacuum, toaster, coffee maker, washing dishes, hair dryer, phones, radio, and my computer if I have the sound on bother him. We have seemed to manage to work out our day on what is important to each other so we have some wonderful days then we have some tough ones too. I wish people would not give us stares and make us feel that we are not welcome. I wish people had more understanding that difference is not a bad thing and if we didn’t have difference the world be pretty boring. I wish they had more patience and didn’t think we are the worst things and should not be out in the public. I wish people could experience our kids so they understand that things are hard for them but they are the most loving and wonderful kids you could ever ask for. I love my son and autism is not going to change that.